{"id":12113,"date":"2024-08-21T17:46:01","date_gmt":"2024-08-21T17:46:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pregnancyoptions.spence-chapin.org\/?p=12113"},"modified":"2024-10-16T18:21:24","modified_gmt":"2024-10-16T18:21:24","slug":"noelle-blog-part1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pregnancyoptions.spence-chapin.org\/zh\/noelle-blog-part1\/","title":{"rendered":"Noelle \u7684\u9886\u517b\u4e4b\u65c5\u2014\u2014\u7b2c\u4e00\u90e8\u5206\uff1a\u4e00\u5207\u7684\u5f00\u59cb"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em><em>This is the first part of a special three-part series written by Noelle, who made an adoption plan for her son 20 years ago. She reached out to share her personal experience through pregnancy, choosing an adoptive family, giving birth, open adoption&nbsp;and her relationship with her son, hoping it will help others in their journeys.&nbsp;<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are pregnant and considering placing your child for adoption, we hope that Noelle\u2019s story brings you comfort and reassurance. We understand that this time can be incredibly challenging, and it&#8217;s natural to feel scared and uncertain about the future. These feelings show how much you care and that you&#8217;re seeking the best path forward.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Noelle reached out to share her story, hoping to support others in similar situations. When asked what she would want someone in her shoes to know, she said, \u201cI would want them to know <strong>there is relief ahead. As alone as I felt, after I started working with Spence-Chapin, I felt I had a resource, and I didn\u2019t feel any pressure after that. It\u2019s such a personal decision.<\/strong> You should feel secure in your decision and know WHY you are making this decision. For me, it was very spiritual&#8230; my hardest experience was also my greatest blessing.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are pregnant or have recently given birth and want to explore your options, including adoption, we are here to listen and help. Please call us at 1-800-321-5683 or text us at 646-306-2586.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Part One: Where it All Started<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>As a mom of four young boys, I\u2019m deep in the \u201cthe days are long, but the years are short\u201d phase. But&#8230; there\u2019s also the son I gave birth to nearly 20 years ago.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What a strange dichotomy\u2014for something to feel so long ago, but also like it just happened. Our lives are so different, but the feeling I had when I first learned of my first baby\u2019s existence is completely the same: pure, unconditional love. And the strength\u2026 oh, the strength it gave me.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What did life look like that day in November 2003\u2014when my past, present, and future flooded my head? It was lonely\u2026 dark\u2026 painful\u2026 and chaotic. You wouldn\u2019t know it from the outside looking in. I was 19, a junior in college, excelling and on track to get my bachelor\u2019s degree in nursing.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My body gave me all the signs. I tried to explain them away. But there I was\u2014pregnant by a man twice my age. He was controlling, manipulative, jealous, emotionally and physically abusive, a convicted felon&#8230; And I felt trapped for 3 years.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Panic set in\u2026 I frantically searched online for help, for options, for anything to tell me this wasn\u2019t really happening. I had already learned as a teenager how to pretend that EVERYTHING IS FINE. Pretending turned into escaping with drugs and alcohol\u2014not enough to raise too many red flags, but enough to slowly break me down and solidify these unhealthy coping mechanisms. I had also learned that if I did well in school and kept under the radar, no one really questioned me. So, I did what I knew. I shut off the panic of my pregnancy until all my schoolwork was done, until it hit me at night as I lay in bed alone\u2026 feeling my belly grow.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A week or two after finding out I was pregnant, I made my decision. With tears running down my face, I stared at myself in the mirror and said,&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote has-x-large-font-size is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-link-color has-large-font-size wp-elements-91c68e5bc447446aac3f81e27cf89ba0\" style=\"color:#008080\">\u201cI clearly don\u2019t love myself right now, but I WILL love this baby and do whatever I need to do to give it the best chance in this world.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>I decided that this man who had wreaked such havoc and pain in my life\u2014who already had other children with multiple women\u2014would NOT be the man my child calls \u201cDaddy.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Was I going to battle him in family court for child support, visitation, etc.? I knew raising the baby by myself would be nearly impossible: I didn\u2019t have a job, and I lived with my parents. Is this a life I could handle or WILLINGLY CHOOSE for myself and my child? I knew the answers to these questions, and so, with clarity, I made the decision to place my child for adoption. I didn\u2019t know how hard it would be, but I knew this was what I had to do.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9d6595d7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:50%\"><div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/spence-chapin.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/photo9.jpg\" alt=\"photo9\" class=\"wp-image-35464\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:50%\">\n<p>My strength started to build\u2014we were a team. We were on a mission to find the best family, to give my baby the best chance at life and free ourselves from the man who broke me down for years. Most people didn\u2019t understand my decision, especially the people I hung out with in college, but this only made me stronger. It forced me to learn one of life\u2019s most important lessons\u2014don\u2019t care what other people think or say about you, even if some of those people are your family. At the end of the day, I am the one who has to look myself and God in the mirror and be okay with my<strong> <\/strong>decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thankfully, my mom and dad were very supportive of me and showed me great love, albeit they were completely shocked as they didn\u2019t even know the guy I was impregnated by existed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Revealing my past and current situation was so freeing and took away a lot of his power over me. I started feeling relief as my secrets were exposed and I grew mentally stronger every day.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>My next battle would be telling HIM my plans. He already knew I was pregnant and was even kind of excited. How was I going to get him on board with adoption?! I felt tremendous pressure to not mess this up, to make things go as smoothly as possible as I was already under enough stress. Even though I couldn\u2019t stand being with this man, I had to play nice. He was absolutely against it right off the bat\u2014no surprise there. Remaining calm, kind, and strong was crucial. I told him I understood his feelings but reminded him of the circumstances in both of our lives at that point. It took time, but he slowly and reluctantly accepted that I wasn\u2019t changing my mind.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Each part of this journey felt like a mountain I had to climb over. My next one was the largest and most important one of all\u2014finding the right couple.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Come back for&nbsp;<u><a href=\"https:\/\/pregnancyoptions.spence-chapin.org\/noelle-blog-part2\/\">parts two<\/a><\/u>&nbsp;and&nbsp;<u><a href=\"https:\/\/pregnancyoptions.spence-chapin.org\/noelle-blog-part3\/\">three<\/a><\/u>&nbsp;to hear about how Noelle chose the adoptive family for her son, and what her experience with open adoption has been. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>When asked what she would want someone in her shoes to know, Noelle said, \u201cI would want them to know there is relief ahead. As alone as I felt, after I started working with Spence-Chapin, I felt I had a resource, and I didn\u2019t feel any pressure after that. [Placing a child for adoption is] such a personal decision. You should feel secure in your decision and know WHY you are making this decision. For me, it was very spiritual\u2026 my hardest experience was also my greatest blessing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Spence-Chapin offers comprehensive support services in&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/pregnancyoptions.spence-chapin.org\/considering-adoption\/\">making an adoption plan<\/a>, and lifelong support <a href=\"https:\/\/spence-chapin.org\/birth-parent-support\/\">for birth parents<\/a>. If you have any questions, please contact us at info@spence-chapin.org.&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is the first part of a special three-part series written by Noelle, who made an adoption plan for her son 20 years ago. She reached out to share her personal experience through pregnancy, choosing an adoptive family, giving birth, open adoption&nbsp;and her relationship with her son, hoping it will help others in their journeys.&nbsp; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":12114,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_price":"","_stock":"","_tribe_ticket_header":"","_tribe_default_ticket_provider":"","_tribe_ticket_capacity":"0","_ticket_start_date":"","_ticket_end_date":"","_tribe_ticket_show_description":"","_tribe_ticket_show_not_going":false,"_tribe_ticket_use_global_stock":"","_tribe_ticket_global_stock_level":"","_global_stock_mode":"","_global_stock_cap":"","_tribe_rsvp_for_event":"","_tribe_ticket_going_count":"","_tribe_ticket_not_going_count":"","_tribe_tickets_list":"[]","_tribe_ticket_has_attendee_info_fields":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1140],"class_list":["post-12113","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-birth-mom"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Noelle\u2019s Adoption Journey \u2014 Part One: Where it All Started - Your Pregnancy Choices<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As a mom of four young boys, I\u2019m deep in the \u201cthe days are long, but the years are short\u201d phase. 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